Finding Common Ground in Relationships: Brian

Relationships are built on many things: physical attraction, compatibility, trust, and eventually coming to respect each other's differences and finding those common things that each of you love. When Leslie and I first met the only thing I thought we had in common was that we worked in the same restaurant.

During our time dating I began to notice the commonalities, the first of which I can remember is our fondness of some of the greatest comedic movies of our era. You know the ones: Superbad, The 40-Year Old Virgin, I Love You Man, etc. We tend to quote these movies in our daily lives which, in a weird way, brings us closer. Inside jokes are established and most times we can relate ridiculous quotes from these movies into our daily life. 

After beginning to spend almost every night together, whether working or not, food became a very important part of our relationship. Nights we spent off the clock we would always either grab a bite to eat out together or make something at home. We learned that it was always more exciting and fun to make a homemade meal. Luckily we have continued this tradition over the course of our relationship.

We have learned to communicate better through the course of many arguments over who is the chef and who is the helper (more about that later, though). Since moving to NY our shared love for food and cooking together has grown. Now that we have a bigger kitchen and an actual dining table we can host dinner parties. We have successfully cooked for 13 people! Cooking together is something that we do on a daily basis and something that brings us closer together. 

The lesson in this is not necessarily to enjoy the same movies or always to agree on the same food, but to find something simple and enjoyable with your partner. Something that can bring you laughter in the most awkward of moments and something to enjoy together when all other options are non-existent.

So whether it is starting your day off together with a cup of coffee, meeting for lunch, cooking dinner or reading together before bedtime, find a way that you can share the love on a daily basis. I'm grateful for those moments in our relationship.

- Brian Jay